What if… I owned my own country…

  1. Change my name to “Beef Wellington” – everyone who’s had it looooves beef wellington!  Ya cain’t go wrong with meat and pastry!  Plus it has a nice roll to it.  Beeeeef Well-ing-ton.
  2. Put my butt on my own dollar bill.  That’s right, all the folks that like to kiss their money will be kissing my …
  3. Hmmm… ban Hawaiian shirt days and Jimmy Buffet.  I dunno why but fugly shirts and fake reggae (feggae?) just irritate the hell outta me!  People really should know better.


What would you do?