Waiting For A Change In The Weather

It’s supposed to snow again. Not lightly, but a lot. It’s late and it hasn’t started on schedule but that’s like a lot of things in life. So you wait. You want to be able to predict if your path will be crap or clear when you’re finally set to go.

Trees ad Snow

I’m waiting on a couple of things and I can feel the potential building. It’s in the pattern of events. Not a 100% guarantee mind you, could just as easily deflate, but like the smell of snow, change is in the air. i’m smelling beneficial change for me, but we’ll see. Ya’ just never know what your gonna’ get. Sleet, snow. rain, wintry mix… if you’re prepared at least snow can be fun and the rest not so bad. Definitely not getting rain, though. Plenty of that soon enough. Change is always coming.

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How the Unconscious Mind Can Act Out Our Prejudices

Came across this book excerpt during my daily news reading:

“What would be remarkably instructive in real life is if women in various professions could experience life as men, and vice versa. If the same person got treated differently, we would be sure sexism was at work, because the only thing that changed was the sex of the individual and not his or her skills, talent, knowledge, experience, or interests. Individual human beings could become their own control groups… As it turns out, there are men who were once women, and women who were once men…

Overwhelmingly, the men told Schilt that they were being treated better than they’d been treated as women.

…becoming a woman often brings a loss of authority, harassment, and termination, but that for female-to-male workers, becoming a man often brings an increase in respect and authority. These findings . . . illustrate the often hidden and subtle processes that produce gender inequality.”

From: How the Unconscious Mind Can Act Out Our Prejudices

Good grief. 😦

One Long Moment

I’m sitting in a bar on a weekday night in a city I don’t know well. The place is starting to fill. The DJ just showed up. On a Tuesday night? Wow. I’m feeling pretty all right from dinner and a few pints. Took the edge off the caffeine I’d had at our initial rendezvous point. That was like six hours ago… I can’t remember everything I’ve said so far and I have to keep reminding myself not to stare. I’m buzzed.

Fascinating is an understatement. She has all of my attention. Did I just forget to breathe? There’s something that seems familiar about her… hell, we’d only met today. Everything’s clicking. Everything’s clicking?

She’s talking off the top of her head with no thought of consequence, or so it seems. She’s not trying to impress, just being herself. I think she’s pretty awesome but I still have my guard up. Being careful not to drop the wrong words and say something to screw this up. This date is a rare and addictive state all by itself. The weight from a rough year of learning experiences drags on me but I’m keeping up on my end. I think. I sure hope so. This one could wind up… grrr. I’m thinking about the future, I need to be here and now…

A few rounds and several topics later I catch myself feeling… unguarded. Vulnerable. It’s unfamiliar, and almost uncomfortable. Ok, frightening is a good word. I look inward, examine, decide that I’m safe, and the anxiety evaporates. When did I get so bound up? I tell her. Thought process and all. Why would I not? She smiles for like the thousandth time this evening and I realize my cheeks hurt from doing the same.

Moto Folks

Saturday, January 23, 2010.
I’ve been to the annual motorcycle show at the Javitz in NYC several times and this years didn’t disappoint. In fact I’d say it exceeded my expectations because I didn’t get the flu like the last couple of times I went. Motorcycle crowd at The JavitzI mean, what’s the point of sitting on a static bike if you’re not going to pretend your riding it? So of course we all put our hands on the grips and go “vroom-vroom”… 10,000 hands later and Steve gets the flu. Two years running. This year I attribute my bullet dodging to copious use of hand sanitizer and now I have no fear of fondling motorcycles at future events.

The neatest thing about the show is that you see people from every walk of life that inhabit the NJ, NY, CT tri-state area. Old Harley dudes, young hispanic guys posing on every bike in site for a photo opportunity like they’re trying on different tuxes for the prom, Europeans (sorry to be so generic but I can’t recall every accent), guys that rode to the show (carrying their helmets), women who ride, and just about every color under the rainbow. It’s not an exclusive club. Although some would have you believe that. We’re not all edgy risk takers and you need to be one too to sign up. Some of us just accept that being alive comes with risk, we mitigate accordingly, and get on with enjoying it. Life does not come with a guarantee of duration, health, limb count, happiness, freedom from oppression or any of that stuff. But it does come with a guarantee of change… if you can hang on long enough.

In the past I’d gone with a buddy of mine but this year I went with my eldest brother. I seldom had a chance to spend one on one time with him when his boys were younger but time moves on and things change. The biggest change was that he finally broke down and bought a motorcycle after many years of prevaricating. So, now we have a hobby (finally we’re beyond just talking about it) and a solid reason to do some stuff together. Vroom-vroom, away we went.

Group riding versus solo has its own challenges but is pretty neat provided no one gets lost or runs out of gas because someone forgot to check their tank (twice!), a battery dies because we took a break (which I would never do solo) and I left my lights on… but that just makes it more of an adventure. Right? There are worse things that can happen and these were, ahem, learning opportunities. 🙂

At some other time I would’ve said my bro and I were very different people but as I (we?) get older it seems to me like we’re pretty much the same but with different aspects of our character in dominance. That’s probably clearer now because we’re grown adults with our own families. We’re not living together and competing for the same resources (personal space, parents affection, the last damn donut=>Battle Royale!) and have otherwise outgrown the roles we used as children to secure what we needed with a minimum of head-to-head competition. That’s what those artificial, I’m the wild one, I’m the fast one, I’m the oldest, or whatever roles are for… staking out your own turf.

Anyway, I like riding with my bro, it’s fun to share stuff with him. He’s ai’ight! 😀