What if…

This is an imagined mashup scene between the founding father’s of the U.S. , the TV series The Wire, and the late 1990’s (I’m really not up on current street slang and wanted to work in some other anachronisms)…

Backroom of a storefront in Baltimore. Two men are stacking and banding money while Washington, sitting behind a desk, looks on.

Washington: “Today’s my 38th birthday and I still got teeth in the double digits!”

Burr: “No, Hamilton, I’ma’ whup yo a**!”

Jefferson rolls in: “Yo, yo, yo, where the fine black honeys at?”
Washington: “That sh*t’s gonna come back to haunt you, bro…”

Washington text messaging Martha: “B hm l8. @ vly frg.”

Jefferson: “I’m on the two dolla’ bill, holy sh*t! That’s it!?!? That sh*t is worthless! George, why you lookin’ at me like that?”

Hamilton: “Yo, Burr, EAT THIS, b*tch!”

Washington: “Hey remember that time we were camped out and Light Horse Harry brought us that really good, tea? Awww, yeahhh! Man, we ate up all the supplies, yo. Any of that sh*t left?” High fives all around. Jefferson uses his lips to point at some bags in the corner.

Franklin: “Hey man, I just got back from France and they don’t call ‘em French fries! They some crazy azz folks.” Throws Washington The Grip and a chest bump. Walks out of room.

1 hour later:
“Whassssssssssssupppp?” – Washington.

“Hwhuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzup!” – Jefferson, tongue hanging out.

Burr: “Wait ‘til tomorrow!?!?! Maaaaaan, F**** alla’ dat’ sh*t yo, you just fast tracked yourself to an a** cappin’!” BANG.

Franklin comes back: “Yo, y’all need to chill the F*** out back here! People complaining about the sme… SH*T! WTF happened to Hamilton, yo!? Who ate up all the Cheerios and orange soda?!?! Yo, I don’t know you dudes, and I was NOT here!”

Washington: “Little’ Ben, get you’re a** back here! Little Ben!”

Jefferson: “Man, I knew he was soft the first time I saw him with those kites… he all grown and messing around with kites!?”

Washington: “Nah, he ain’t soft. His people are from the country.”

Jefferson looks over at Burr: “Yo, when we done cleaning this mess up you gotta take care of that other bit too.” Looks at the door Franklin left through and looks back, “You feel me?”


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