1. Trim your hair.  On head.  Not to be confused with item 3. You could really screw this up and there ain’t no time to grow it back!  Leave it to the pros or no touchy!
  2. Save your shave for the last minute.  Two words, razor blade. One more word, sharp.  Ok, last word, ooooooops!
  3. Decide to go with a different look for your facial hair.  If it involves straight lines and having some sort of symmetry in play, see item 2.  You could really screw this up and there ain’t no time to grow it back!
  4. Forget to “manscape” when you, ahem, may be overdue… On the off chance you get that lucky do you want to acquire the tag, “that sasquatch guy” when she’s retelling to her peeps?
  5. Decide at the last minute to wear a completely different outfit.  C’mon!  You spent two hours last night on which logo t-shirt and jeans combo you’re gonna’ wear and now your compounding that time wasting bit of bone-headedness by ignoring your own efforts!
  6. Save “gas up empty car tank”, for last.  Holy crap, is this ever a recipe for disaster!  What if the gas station you like is getting a delivery or on fire or being held up or the sole attendant is getting cigarettes for the octegnarian who can’t remember what he smokes?  All kinds of time consuming crap can happen at those places!
  7. Forget to trim nose hair. Ewwwww.  Turn around and go home, son.  It’s better to be late. You can’t use a made up traffic accident to defend visible nose hair.