Proximity, Density + More on Dating Sites

Hmmm… things have been kinda slow with the blog. I’ve had a thousand ideas for topics then due to multiple distractions or adult ADD I don’t finish the thought in print. Sustained blogging is hard.
REALLY, REALLY hard! đŸ˜€ Props to all that do it.

Let’s do a hypothetical. Hypothetically speaking if I lived in a region where the women outnumbered the men 2:1 the odds of finding a woman responsive to my overtures (1:10 typically depending on how you define success) would stay the same BUT I could get to that 1 a lot faster due to the greater female population density. Hypothetically. There’s an assumption that all of these women are packed into a tight enough space, say an urban area like Manhattan, that I could come across sufficient number either all in one place or without too much lag. Another way, your practically tripping over the hotties. đŸ˜‰

Shift to the burbs. Where I live.

Aaaaaargh. Ahem.

Let’s say the women are closer to a 1:1 ratio. Mostly because many of them are married, aren’t my type, or some other requirement restrictions. Or, they find me unattractive… pffft, yah, that’s gonna happen! Let’s say that the number of places where these women could possibly congregate for social entertainment are the same but much further apart geographically. Everything happens a lot slower as a result. It’s just not possible to bounce in and out of places all night long, especially if you’ve been drinking. Too much time and distance between and cops. There are a couple of near urban centers where you can just walk around a lot instead of driving between points but every guy on the “prowl” with his awful game is there and women who aren’t looking for that kinda’ cheese ain’t. Let’s say that’s my target lady. So where do these females go?


They can shoot down guys as fast as they can click delete (control) and they don’t have to listen to many, many bad raps all night from overly meaty dudes who are simultaneously spoiling for a fight (yes there are women that like this). I’m sure the online experience gives women the same sort of feeling of empowerment that an SUV does. Remarkably I’ve heard women complaining about coming across cheesy dudes online (they exist everywhere) and having the first date be an eye opener. I’m not sure why they’re surprised, obviously the woman has spent even less time filtering dudes due to the more limited interaction possible. Even if it escalates to a phone call before the first date. Yes, the woman is being cautious and letting things happen at her pace but the depth of information acquired is still pretty shallow. Some body language and appearance, maybe? Plus it’s easier to lie online with a straight face. I would think. I own a mansion and a yacht, shall I email you photos, m’lady? Next thing ya’ know she’s on a first date and in the ladies room on the phone telling her friend to call in 5 with an emergency. I haven’t even touched on photo bait/switch.

Therefore: Less time spent on in-person evaluation now equals wasted time upfront and doing the in-person eval later when the lady finds out she’s with one of the Butabi brothers.

So, dating sites fail. They deceive by giving women a sense of control and availability (being out there) while adding self justifying steps (overhead, wasted time) along the way without giving them more information about suitors then they could’ve acquired in about 15 seconds of face to face. I don’t mean they fail absolutely, there are still the same quality of matches being made (long term, hookups, whatev), it’s a failure along the lines of over promising and under delivering on the journey part of the experience that leads to the women’s complaints.

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