In searching on Craigslist I came across some oddball jobs. Seem to be some folks that want “little people” for the upcoming St. Patty’s day “events” among other things. I should mention I live in or adjacent to the NYC area, the perspective depends on where you’re from, as a result there’s also lot of gigs requiring people to have headshots. No, no, not just models and actors. Bartenders, Assistants, Caterer Trainees, you name it. It’s a very surface environment that way plus there are so many kids here vying for jobs that you can actually pick an attractive Harvard grad over an average looking one. There are also large media companies in NYC and and lots of stuff is getting produced here either out in the street or in a studio. I’m guessing the bulk of it is reality crap but the listing below still piqued my interest.
… is currently casting for 5 VERY specific character types to serve as walk on characters with NO speaking roles!!!!
Character #1
MALE or FEMALE, with a very tall MOHAWK hairstyle.Character #2
MALE or FEMALE, SPOONMAN or SPOONWOMAN, must know how to play Spoons as an instrument.Character #3
MALE, STUNT GUY who is a LITTLE PERSON, must be legitimately be 4ft 5 inches or shorter and be athletic.Character #4
FEMALE, must have HAIRY or BUSHY ARMPITS. (MUST SEND PICTURE OF UNDERARMS w/Hair)Character #5
MALE, ASIAN or a PACIFIC ISLANDER must be fat/obese, maybe have a sumo type of appearance.If you meet these requirements please send your contact information and 2-3 photos to the email address above.
ONLY SERIOUS INQUIRIES!!!!!
If you do not fit these character requirements please DO NOT reply, because you will be ignored!
Hmmm, I wonder what auditioning for this would be like…
“You call THAT a mohawk!?!?!?!? I’m looking for a solid foot of fin flying up there, hit the bricks, kid!”
“Ya know, you do have the spoons kid… and I hear ‘em clanking away… you can stop now… but it’s not moving me… YOU CAN STOP NOW. I’m just not getting that Sound Of Music vibe.”
“Hey, what’s this kid doing here, was there a slot for a kid? Ah, hey… you’re certainly the littlest person I’ve seen today… what? I can’t pinch your cheeks? How do you feel about landing on things? What I mean is, I mean, how do you feel about being thrown? The landing part would follow, naturally… hey! I don’t think that’s called for little guy and I’ll just have to tell your momma… I’m kidding! Why can’t anyone take a joke anyymore? Where ya’ goin’!?!? Somebody grab that little guy, I like his moxie!”
“What’s up next… another bushy armpits? Ugh, I must’ve seen twenty today that were too curly, not spilling out right, It’s making me ill… this is for [well Known Music TV *ahem* company name here - ed.] and these kids need to bring their A game! Step into the light, honey, and raise ‘em up… WOW! You could stand a pick in those thing! You’re hired!”
“Ok, show me some sumo… no, don’t just look at me blankly, put your hands on your knees and stamp your feet around like your smashing Tokyo! What’s that? …never been… well how do I freakin’ know what your motivation is? See this is the kind of sh*t that happens with these union kids, Marv! And who told him to where a thong?!?!”
ONLY SERIOUS INQUIRIES!!!!! – Indeed.
Unrelated but interesting:
Are you in love with crispy fried chicken and constantly crave it? Is fried chicken your favorite comfort food? Are you aware of the dangers of fried foods but continue to eat them? Are you unable to resist the aroma and taste of fried foods? Do you want to learn a healthy alternative so you can fry your chicken and eat it too? If so, we want to hear your story…
It’s supposed to snow again. Not lightly, but a lot. It’s late and it hasn’t started on schedule but that’s like a lot of things in life. So you wait. You want to be able to predict if your path will be crap or clear when you’re finally set to go.
I’m waiting on a couple of things and I can feel the potential building. It’s in the pattern of events. Not a 100% guarantee mind you, could just as easily deflate, but like the smell of snow, change is in the air. i’m smelling beneficial change for me, but we’ll see. Ya’ just never know what your gonna’ get. Sleet, snow. rain, wintry mix… if you’re prepared at least snow can be fun and the rest not so bad. Definitely not getting rain, though. Plenty of that soon enough. Change is always coming.
Came across this book excerpt during my daily news reading:
“What would be remarkably instructive in real life is if women in various professions could experience life as men, and vice versa. If the same person got treated differently, we would be sure sexism was at work, because the only thing that changed was the sex of the individual and not his or her skills, talent, knowledge, experience, or interests. Individual human beings could become their own control groups… As it turns out, there are men who were once women, and women who were once men…
Overwhelmingly, the men told Schilt that they were being treated better than they’d been treated as women.
…becoming a woman often brings a loss of authority, harassment, and termination, but that for female-to-male workers, becoming a man often brings an increase in respect and authority. These findings . . . illustrate the often hidden and subtle processes that produce gender inequality.”
From: How the Unconscious Mind Can Act Out Our Prejudices
Good grief. 
I’m sitting in a bar on a weekday night in a city I don’t know well. The place is starting to fill. The DJ just showed up. On a Tuesday night? Wow. I’m feeling pretty all right from dinner and a few pints. Took the edge off the caffeine I’d had at our initial rendezvous point. That was like six hours ago… I can’t remember everything I’ve said so far and I have to keep reminding myself not to stare. I’m buzzed.
Fascinating is an understatement. She has all of my attention. Did I just forget to breathe? There’s something that seems familiar about her… hell, we’d only met today. Everything’s clicking. Everything’s clicking?
She’s talking off the top of her head with no thought of consequence, or so it seems. She’s not trying to impress, just being herself. I think she’s pretty awesome but I still have my guard up. Being careful not to drop the wrong words and say something to screw this up. This date is a rare and addictive state all by itself. The weight from a rough year of learning experiences drags on me but I’m keeping up on my end. I think. I sure hope so. This one could wind up… grrr. I’m thinking about the future, I need to be here and now…
A few rounds and several topics later I catch myself feeling… unguarded. Vulnerable. It’s unfamiliar, and almost uncomfortable. Ok, frightening is a good word. I look inward, examine, decide that I’m safe, and the anxiety evaporates. When did I get so bound up? I tell her. Thought process and all. Why would I not? She smiles for like the thousandth time this evening and I realize my cheeks hurt from doing the same.
