I’m sitting in a bar on a weekday night in a city I don’t know well. The place is starting to fill. The DJ just showed up. On a Tuesday night? Wow. I’m feeling pretty all right from dinner and a few pints. Took the edge off the caffeine I’d had at our initial rendezvous point. That was like six hours ago… I can’t remember everything I’ve said so far and I have to keep reminding myself not to stare. I’m buzzed.
Fascinating is an understatement. She has all of my attention. Did I just forget to breathe? There’s something that seems familiar about her… hell, we’d only met today. Everything’s clicking. Everything’s clicking?
She’s talking off the top of her head with no thought of consequence, or so it seems. She’s not trying to impress, just being herself. I think she’s pretty awesome but I still have my guard up. Being careful not to drop the wrong words and say something to screw this up. This date is a rare and addictive state all by itself. The weight from a rough year of learning experiences drags on me but I’m keeping up on my end. I think. I sure hope so. This one could wind up… grrr. I’m thinking about the future, I need to be here and now…
A few rounds and several topics later I catch myself feeling… unguarded. Vulnerable. It’s unfamiliar, and almost uncomfortable. Ok, frightening is a good word. I look inward, examine, decide that I’m safe, and the anxiety evaporates. When did I get so bound up? I tell her. Thought process and all. Why would I not? She smiles for like the thousandth time this evening and I realize my cheeks hurt from doing the same.
Saturday, January 23, 2010.
I’ve been to the annual motorcycle show at the Javitz in NYC several times and this years didn’t disappoint. In fact I’d say it exceeded my expectations because I didn’t get the flu like the last couple of times I went. 
I mean, what’s the point of sitting on a static bike if you’re not going to pretend your riding it? So of course we all put our hands on the grips and go “vroom-vroom”… 10,000 hands later and Steve gets the flu. Two years running. This year I attribute my bullet dodging to copious use of hand sanitizer and now I have no fear of fondling motorcycles at future events.
The neatest thing about the show is that you see people from every walk of life that inhabit the NJ, NY, CT tri-state area. Old Harley dudes, young hispanic guys posing on every bike in site for a photo opportunity like they’re trying on different tuxes for the prom, Europeans (sorry to be so generic but I can’t recall every accent), guys that rode to the show (carrying their helmets), women who ride, and just about every color under the rainbow. It’s not an exclusive club. Although some would have you believe that. We’re not all edgy risk takers and you need to be one too to sign up. Some of us just accept that being alive comes with risk, we mitigate accordingly, and get on with enjoying it. Life does not come with a guarantee of duration, health, limb count, happiness, freedom from oppression or any of that stuff. But it does come with a guarantee of change… if you can hang on long enough.
In the past I’d gone with a buddy of mine but this year I went with my eldest brother. I seldom had a chance to spend one on one time with him when his boys were younger but time moves on and things change. The biggest change was that he finally broke down and bought a motorcycle after many years of prevaricating. So, now we have a hobby (finally we’re beyond just talking about it) and a solid reason to do some stuff together. Vroom-vroom, away we went.
Group riding versus solo has its own challenges but is pretty neat provided no one gets lost or runs out of gas because someone forgot to check their tank (twice!), a battery dies because we took a break (which I would never do solo) and I left my lights on so the battery on my bike was dead when I went to restart it… but that just makes it more of an adventure. Right? There are worse things than can happen and these were, ahem, learning opportunities.
At some other time I would’ve said my bro and I were very different but as I (we?) get older it seems to me like we’re pretty much the same but with different aspects of our character in dominance. That’s probably clearer now because we’re grown adults with our own families. We’re not living together and competing for the same resources (personal space, parents affection, the last damn donut=>Battle Royale!) and have otherwise outgrown the roles we used as children to secure what we needed.
Anyway, I like riding with my bro, it’s fun to share stuff with him. He’s ai’ight. 
My kid only gets her stocking stuff from Santa and she helps with as much decoration as she can so it’s not like she doesn’t work for it. She knows what came from Mom, Dad, Mom & Dad, Granpa, Granma, Aunty, Santa, etc. Her face doesn’t light up any more or less when she tears open a package (like a lion tearing at the jugular of a zebra I might add) unless she has a whole lot of stuff then she starts to wear out at the end, as is typically the case. This is not a bad problem to have and I usually get a chuckle out of seeing her run down. Yes, there is such a thing as too much, unless it comes to love.
The whole CHRISTmas (as some folks like to remind) holiday is pretty surreal and fun and I wouldn’t mind calling it Yuletide or something else. Actually I’d prefer Yuletide if Christmas weren’t so ingrained. It’s not like The Church ever appropriated a local pagan holiday or hero in an effort to appease the recently proselytized heathen masses… or is it? And it’s not like it was merely a small family celebration until Hallmark kicked the door open at the turn of the 1900’s…
Santa rocks, especially the version in Futurama where he’s a weapon toting Terminator and it’s called X-Mas and people stay indoors terrified of him. I could get behind a Santa like that… and feed him ammo.
We need more whimsical holidays here in The States. Or bank holidays. Not enough damn holidays in this country… I still want a national civil rights or suffrage day that celebrates all the people and actions it took to get us where we are today. I’m always surprised by the number of amendments required to underscore for the biased that citizens of the US of A are indeed free and have equal access to voting stations, public spaces, etc, etc. Check out the 13th, 15th, 19th and 24th amendments but don’t look at the 18th Anti-Partying amendment. We’re still reeling from that one well after it’s repeal.
There seems to be a lot of amnesia going around or a very dippy attitude that things have always been this way and that everything is set in stone. I am also guilty of this at times.
MLK Day, Jan 17th (observed by all 50 states for the first time in the year 2000!?!?), has not only an interesting observance history but also some fairly recent alternate names. Note: I’m not sure how it’s supposed to directly encompass the Women’s Suffrage movement and although MLK Jr. was a beneficiary, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t around for the abolition movement. I guess Utah was kind of on the right course with the name “Human Rights Day”, although they could’ve picked a different day entirely instead of looking like they weren’t trying to give the man his props… but still a lot closer to the mark than Arizona was.
… anyway, some crumbs for thought as we close out the year.
I wish everyone Happy (respective) Holidays (whenever yours may occur) and a Happy (christian calendar) New Year. And please, if you can’t party safely at least do it in a way where you’re not gonna hurt someone else. That’s all anyone asks.
Cheers!
Steve
I Think I am Going to Become a “Dog Lady”…
So I read this post this morning (I actually got there via a LinkedIn writers group I’m a member of) about a first telephone call. Let’s just say the dude was awash in testosterone and bad technique… I was, typically, sympathetic with the woman, yet also annoyed.
I mean, it sounds like one painfully horrendous conversation from the get go and the guy sounds absolutely creepy. I’m curious, why didn’t she just hang up the phone sooner!? Given that he’s a stranger I figure he moved beyond any allowance for courtesy or mutual respect when he pursued a conversation path that she said no to. I suspect if it should happen again she will. It’s hard to pull new techniques/strategies in the heat of battle. Shrug.
Click.
“… They are nothing more than adolescents in adult bodies who have no respect for others’ boundaries and aren’t smart enough to realize that that type of behavior will get them nothing more than a series of one night stands and likely something that they will never get rid of (nice), which will make it even more difficult for them to satisfy those out of control sexual urges” – That’s not me so I’m not offended but that is some pretty mean wishful thinking. I wouldn’t equate someone’s desire to have sex with different partners and not get into an LTR with an inability to practice safe sex. Even if he sounds like a rabid wolf like this guy.
As we keep seeing, some dudes just aren’t built for monogamous LTR and end up jamming themselves into relationships they should never have gotten into because they let the people around them set their expectations. Then they violate a trust or otherwise fail at something they had no business trying to do in the first place. That’s a bad choice. Ok, a really bad choice.
Then, “10 Reasons I Would Rather Have a Dog Than a Man “. Uh hu. I appreciate how easy it is to get unconditional love from a dog but it’s pretty slavish and I can’t imagine ever getting that from a person I consider an equal or otherwise has an adult capacity for intelligence.
Granted this writer’s just venting but I’m confused about how a gameless bum like that even got on the phone with her to begin with.
LOL
I read this post Black And Female: Destined To Be Single? and responded there. Typically I was left wondering why some folks are hell bent on throwing themselves into a minefield. Why, people, why!?!?
I think in this case the blogger is using her fiance to achieve the Holy Grail, a Relationship [cue the angelic chorus]. She doesn’t come across like she respects or appreciates him and even spells out she’s having a massive communication failure with him. Not saying he does or doesn’t deserve it, hell I don’t know the dude or how they are together, just saying she’s raising lots of big red flags yet still moving forward with him. I can’t believe they’re even engaged. Wow, just wow. 
